Natural birth/parenting

 I am not an expert. I've done a ton of research, and this is what my research says. But if you have your own beliefs that won't be swayed, I respect that, too. If this gets a bit heated and I offend you--then I offend you, and that's ok. I hope for most people reading this that it will give you a new point of view to consider and hopefully adopt. I seek only to voice my opinion and educate as much as I can. Personal opinions will be thrown in, an if you don't like it, deal with it. Please don't smear me. Thank you & enjoy :)


**I'll write a proper, comprehensive, non-rambling 'report' at some point, but right now this is just a quick, 'get the thought out there' right now lol.**

So there's a lot going around about natural childbirth, and I did a lot of research while I was pregnant with Jude and again with Hunter, and I'm sure I'll do even more research with Cookie. The best resource I found, in fact I pretty much have it memorized, was the documentary The Business of Being Born (in fact I'm watching it as I type this lol). So many women have these misconceptions on their birthing options that they think are the right, the safe way to do it, but it's not.

Think about it: A woman's body is made, it is designed to give birth. Among every other thing women do for their babies--growing the baby, menstrual periods, producing milk, developing body parts to give birth in the first place--giving birth is the only medically-hindered part of that. Developing hips and breasts to provide for your baby is natural. Periods to get pregnant are natural. Growing the baby is natural. Making milk--natural. Can anyone tell me what is natural about lying flat on your back with a needle in your spine and IV in your arm, an oxygen mask on your face, a doctor telling you when to push except for knowing when to push yourself, can anyone tell me what's natural, what part of any of that seems safe for your baby?

And then, after he's born, why shouldn't you hold him if he's healthy? Who says that if she's breathing well and the right color, and healthy right after coming out, that you can't hold her to your chest and bask in that rush of endorphins and sense of accomplishment and pride? Or that you should cut the cord immediately? Cord blood is wonderful for the baby and she should get as much of that as she can. Or to push out the placenta before you're ready, before you start cramping again.

Yes. It hurts. You are at your lowest point physically. You're at a place you can't turn back from and the only thought in your head is that you want it to stop. I'll be the first to admit it sucks lol. The relief, though, when you push him out is just wonderful. It's so wonderful, the pain stops like a switch being flipped and you get to see this person you've been waiting for for the better part of a year. It's a beautiful thing that needs to be felt. Not to mention if you have an epidural, you're going to be in for a hell of a shock when it wears off and you feel that pain for the first time, especially if you tear. 

I have more to say on this subject, but I'll post it later, once I have the final draft down. 

JUDE: I woke up in hard labor around six in the morning on January 20th, 2010, three days before my official due date, which was my grandmother's birthday. We were kinda bummed about that lol. We went to the birth centre and were checked in an my clothes were immediately wadded up on the floor--they only pissed me off. I had 6 people with me. Unfortunately I did test positive for Group B Strep, so I had to have an antibiotic IV. I spent most of my labor in the jacuzzi, and then I was transferred to the birthing tub, and let me tell you, no exaggeration, it took away about 70% of the pain. I did have some stadol, which I regret. Basically it's an IV drug that my nurse said was the equivalent of 2 shots of Tequila (which I've never had, so I couldn't compare) and while it didn't take away the pain per se, it took the outer laying of comprehension of the pain away. Unfortunately my midwife took me out of the tub to break my water, and my legs were so shaky from the stuff that I couldn't get back in. I ended up giving birth propped up kind of on my back in a bed. I tore pretty badly, that's the part I remember the most. 

When Jude was out at 11:17 am, I held him for the first time and was in awe. He snuggled close to me and tucked his little face into the crook of my neck, and even with the pain from the tear, I was in awe. 

My father-in-law came in as they were suturing my vagina--that was awkward! lol

I won't lie. After I went home, I was in so much pain I didn't do much. And afterward I got post-partum depression. This is something I can't stress enough: If you aren't acting right, go see your midwife, your gyno, your family doctor, your rabbi, somebody. I don't care who. If you even think you aren't acting right, but don't want to admit it to yourself, get over it. Post-partum depression can happen to anyone, no matter the kind of birth you had. I am not a violent person. Yeah, I roughhouse with my boy and if my hubby is being weird I'll give him a little backhand half-tap, half-smack (you know the type). But I never react out of anger. The depression got so bad, that the turning point showed my fist raised, ready to strike my husband. I hate that that happened, and please, whether you agree with anything else in here, if you or someone else has an inkling, don't get upset or shrug it off--take care of it. 

Anyway, excuse me for getting off subject. Where was I...oh yes, when I got home. Well, I guess that's the end of that story! :) Even though it wasn't the birth I wanted exactly, it was a good learning tool for me. It made me realize what I really wanted in my next birth, not what I thought I wanted out of lingering fear. (read: stadol)

HUNTER: I had my membranes stripped the day before my actual due date. Hunter was so long, and I'm so short, that I was very uncomfortable. I couldn't really take much longer. That night I went into labor, around 3am. I went to the birth centre, didn't have to have the IV that time, and was able to birth in the water, with my husband behind me supporting me. Hunter was born at 5:52 am on January 7th 2012m. I didn't tear, thank God. He came out with his eyes wide open and did not want to be away from me for any length of time. Everyone was surprised when I walked without support to the recovery room. They were even more surprised when I asked for a shower first thing, and to go home immediately. I felt wonderful. I wanted my husband to keep his thing away from me, but to demonstrate how great I felt--I could have had sex about 20 minutes after I had him. It was a wonderful, completely different feeling than with Jude. 

Thankfully I didn't have depression after having him. I love that. It feels so differently, and I can enjoy my boys and my husband to the full. 

COOKIE: I plan on going with a different midwife this time around, since the ones I went with for Jude and Hunter don't do home births and that's what I really want to do this time. More as developments come!


No comments:

Post a Comment